Growing Wholesome Families

Grow a mother’s heart by incorporating faith, love, bonding, and navigating challenges in life.It’s a daily journey of the heart. Families grow stronger with faith woven into daily life. As a mom, you can be a huge influence in your family’s spiritual walk. Be sure to take care of yourself and be prepared to bring out your best. The top desires of christian moms according to various studies are Christ to be the center of the home, children to have good character, and strong family bonds. Therefore, growing a mother’s heart intentionally should thus include those goals.

Grow a Mother’s Heart Intentionally

Choose to observe your child and show your love daily. Pray for wisdom as well as for God to calm your anxieties. Take time to listen to your children and understand their hearts (Proverbs 2:2). You can more easily inspire a child when you discover what motivates and interests them and help them overcome what holds them back when you understand what discourages them. Use the H-U-G-S method to grow a mother’s heart and also to teach your children.

H represents hope in God who will always guide you.

U is for understanding through asking questions and sometimes re-enacting a scene to discover what happened.

G is for guidance where you share how to make a better choice or reveal what caused a problem. S is for security that no matter what your love is unconditional.

S is for security of knowing you are loved and in God’s family forever.

Motherhood’s Roller Coaster Days

As moms we have ups and downs with joys and struggles. Joys of hugs and kisses and struggles when we feel we failed or something goes wrong. Thus, we need to hold on to the joys like one I have long treasured.

My son Daniel was only 2 and a half but prepared to go off with his oldest sister for the day. I kissed him goodbye and watched him turn, wipe off the kiss, and pat his chest. My heart felt sad as I thought he was outgrowing kisses so early. He twirled around, looked up and said, “Do you know what I did?”

I knelt down to this height and shook my head, not wanted to say what I though he did.

He grinned and said, “I took your kiss and put it in my heart. If I am sad or mad today I can take it out and I’ll be okay.”

That day the mom roller coaster morning ride for ended up high as I smiled and hugged him. Afterwards, I also realized that God likes us to hide his Word in our heart and as moms we hide and treasure our children’s actions and words in our hearts. That grows a mother’s heart!

Grow a Mother’s Heart with Understanding and Listening

ONE VERSE IN PROVERBS SHOULD BE A MOM’S GUIDING LIGHT. MAKE YOUR EAR ATTENTIVE TO WISDOM; INCLINE YOUR HEART TO UNDERSTANDING. 
Proverbs 2:2

It’s important to listen to both the Lord and wisdom of seasoned moms, listen to your husband, and listen to your children. It’s also vital to have an understanding heart. We may be so tired we only know one child is very whiny. If we stop to listen and discern we may realize that child needs something. It might be food, sleep, or just a little of your attention and cuddling. Thus, in talking time to meet that need the child will settle down.

Newborn babies quickly respond  to their mother’s voice according to a study published in the journal National Proceedings of the National Academy of Science. They have heard the voice for months while inside the womb and know it. According to the research parts of the brain light up in response to the sound of their mother. It’s no wonder that the words mothers speak are remembered for a long time. So, whether casual or intentionally, phrases and thoughts expressed to children often bring a long-lasting impact. Consider how your words spoken without thinking influence your child.

Use Words Wisely

Words have power, especially a mother’s words. The impact on a child of negative words like ‘Don’t be a cry baby.’ ‘You can’t do math.’ and other phrases may last a lifetime. Our words should encourage our children and shower them with kindness so they are confident they are loved and ready to face the world. Curbing our own self-talk may be needed too so they don’t assume if mom has trouble baking bread they will too.

Rather than a generalized statement, ‘you can be anything you want to be,’ we should be matching their talents and skill sets to guide them such as, “you have a wonderful memory,’ or ‘you are talented with music.’ Encouraging words help them see their own value and possibilities for the future. Thus, choose words each day to r=fill their minds with words that build them up.

Therefore, be intentional in how you speak to your children. Reflect on your words at the end of each day and each morning pray for wisdom of what to say that day.

Fill Hearts

Jesus spoke about how in giving we receive. That’s true with loving our families too. As we grow a mother’s heart we fill our children’s hearts and see them thrive. That blesses us and our hearts fill with more love and joy. Consider the basic needs of a child to be loved, affirmed, and accepted. We need that too. Use H-E-A-R-T-S as an acrostic for what you should give to your child to fill his or her heart.

H for Heritage

Sharing your heritage or exploring an adopted child’s heritage develops a sense of belong and identity. A child feels accepted when you share how they are part of the family, share traditions, create new customs, and understand what family means in your home. Add to the sense of belonging with making their room or shared area special, creating albums with photos of their special and ordinary activities, and telling them how happy you are that God put you together in your family. You’ll find that helps grow a mother’s heart in you.

E is for Emotional Experiences

Sharing laughter and tears reflects the joys and struggles in the family. That builds bonds and helps children feel accepted and approved. When we acknowledge their feelings, positive and negative, they have the freedom to share what’s in their hearts. Thus, let feelings spark conversations to provide comfort, rejoice together, and learn how to deal with negative emotions.

Enrich family life with emotional experiences of adventures, movies that are funny and others that are sad, Be open to sharing what struggles you face too so they van share those as a family and be part of the process to overcome challenges.

Emotional Challenges

Studies of disasters indicate it helps children to return to a sense of normalcy as soon as possible. This may mean the normal bedtime routines and traditions in the family. Helping in safe ways fosters a sense of control that helps children manage their feelings and overcome fears. These started experiences also add to bonding with memories to chat about over the years.

For my family facing a category four hurricane together brought us closer. Dad was away on military orders, and the six of us stayed together in a large close with mattresses on the floor. We read the Bible and prayed throughout the night as we woke. In the early morning I read about Jesus calming the storm and prayed for Jesus to calm the hurricane. Silence replaced crashing sounds. Michael said, “You should have read that one first mom.” We laugh as we recall that and chat about the cleanup and washing clothes for friends without power longer than us.

Little memories can bind us too. A trip to a great grandparents home gave my children memories of an older generation., They laugh as they recall visiting an older and distant cousin who at dinner told our oldest son to scoop it up and shovel it down as he piled mashed potatoes on his plate, They loved the phrase and used it for years.

Traumas such as divorce also bring emotional problems for children and need to be handled carefully with a focus on the children.

A is for Affection

Babies who are not touched enough can stop growing emotionally and physically. Affection of both words and positive, appropriate touch help children thrive. Moms love the hugs and sloppy kisses from children too. That’s part of the bonding process. Affection is powerful. It helps children feel cherished. Accepting the affection and giving it shows appreciation.

Fill days with words of thanks and shower children with affection in many forms. Tuck your child in ned, sit together to watch a show, ask for help with a meal and thank your child for the assistant. Make that sharing time fun to show you enjoy spending time with your child.

R is for Relationship

Time invested with a child spells love. It affirms your child is valuable and worthy of your time and interest. Be available and build time together into routines with meals, excursions, game nights, and cooperating in work around the house. Communicate well as that’s ket to strong relationships. 

Balance activities between working together such as cooking and relaxing together.  After a larger project such as yard work or painting have a fun activity planned to share pleasure after work. 

T is for Team Spirit

Supporting one another and being cheerleaders for members working on a goal or playing in a sport helps children feel accepted and their efforts affirmed. Celebrating successes and working to build needed skills inspires confidence and persistence. Training children to develop skills also makes them feel part of the team. They know you want to help them grow talents and abilities.

S if for Security

Children need to feel safe. Keeping the home organized and safe and providing meals that are nutritious  provides security to sleep at night. Safety checks, spare batteries stored, and other details foster the sense of safety.

Children’s security needs extend to the soul need for eternal safe with the secure knowledge of their faith and heaven. Sharing faith brings the comfort and joy of knowing God’s plan for their life. Prayer, reading the Bible, and church attendance help children trust God for safety.

Insecurities of Mothers

All moms have moments they feel they failed and days they feel they deserve a high-five for all they accomplished. It’s a balancing act where tears and shouts of “I hate you mom” can rip our hearts apart. A call from a leader in which your child participates crushes your spirit and a praise from a leader or other parent sends you soaring.

Moms are human and sometimes very fragile on the inside. Some only feel as happy as their saddest child while others take life in stride and know children make both good and poor choices that have consequences. We must realize that children are human and make mistakes and some learn faster than others, but they all learn. My special needs brother is grown but he still learns, just at a slower pace.

When you face a struggle that seems overwhelming,  talk to a sympathetic mom, hopefully one who had her own share of experiences. That helps you know we are imperfect. Even Mary lost Jesus for three days. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Be real, apologize to your children when needed, and try again the next day to do your best. God still trusts you with the children he gave you.

Remembering that all moms have good and bad days and times they feel they failed helps us know we are normal. 

Grow a Mother’s Heart in Raising Faithful Children

Many Christian moms voice concern that they want their children to stay faithful and marry a christian who is solid in his or her faith. That doesn’t happen from wishing. It starts with prayer and continues with living your faith, praying as a family, and making sure you study the Bible as a family. Children trust what they see is important to you. If you focus on name brand clothes over real faith, they’ll usually grow up wanting name brands.

So, be grounded and active in your faith. Let them see you listen to Christian music, read the Bible, pray, and get involved in ministries. Be sure to talk about your blessings and prayer answers. That makes your faith more authentic. 

Grow A Mother’s Heart through Struggles

CONSIDER IT ALL JOY, MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS, WHEN YOU ENCOUNTER VARIOUS TRIALS,KNOWING THAT THE TESTING OF YOUR FAITH PRODUCES ENDURANCE. AND LET ENDURANCE HAVE ITS PERFECT RESULT, SO THAT YOU MAY BE PERFECT AND COMPLETE, LACKING IN NOTHING. JAMES 1:2-4

Struggles and troubles of various types come to all families. We are seldom immune although some people seem to have more than others. Natural disasters happen. Some people still choose to do bad things and hurt others. This comes from living in a fallen world. We need to remember that God is with us and there are people who will help. Sometimes God allows our faith to be tested as he did Job. 

Moms face a myriad of little things daily from disasters and messes children make to broken appliances. Then larger ones come with financial problems, illness, and brokenness in lives. 

Tips for Coping With Struggles as you Grow a Mother’s Heart

> Pray always.
> Forgive yourself for any misstep you took.
> Take life one day and sometimes one moment at a time.
> Exercise to raise your good endorphins that make you feel happier. 
> Understand any loss can bring on a type of grief or PTSD, so be willing to seek professional help when needed. Know that some recoveries take longer than others.
> Dwell on your blessings not your problems.
> Set attainable goals to overcome problems a little at a time.
> Look for the lessons within the hard times that help you grow.
> When people just give you platitudes and scriptures understand they care but don’t know how to help.
> Join a support group if needed.
> Accept comfort and help.
> Love your children but also be truthful and assure them God will get you all through it.

Once you get through the hard time, thank God as a family.

Joys and Best Things as You Grow a Mother’s Heart

Moms find many reasons to rejoice at being a mom. Reasons include

The ah-ha moments when a child grasps a new concept or masters a skill
Watching a child grow into his or her own person 
Seeing some of themselves in their children
When the child accepts Jesus and follow the Lord
Knowing how a child grew through a difficult time and became stronger
Being able to have deep discussions as child grows
The friendship within the mother-child relationship
Observing how they think through questions they ask

These are just a few reasons moms love being moms. Along with that are the hopes that each child will discover.

Moms also have hopes for their children and want to understand their child’s dream. These include hopes each child will be steadfast in faith and biblical values,  marry a strong Christian, that they will have families, discover God’s plan for their lives, and be loving and kind.

Frustrations and Fears

Moms also have fears and frustrations. Weariness comes with difficulties of getting children to help more. Exasperation comes when children rebel,  avoiding chores and schoolwork. Disappointment and grief come as older children turn from family values and faith. These are all a bit different.

The daily frustrations need constant reinforcement and consequences to train children as well as oodles of praise and encouragement. One parent enforced a consequence, so her child would missed her favorite club activity of jumping rope. The consequence did the trick and her daughter finished chores and schoolwork on time.But, consistency is important.

The exasperation may signal the need for new approaches. A child not doing work may be a sign of a learning disorder or simply that the child is not yet grasping the concepts needed. That may mean some testing, a new approach for learning, or stepping back to restart at a lower level. Children don’t learn at the same rate. One of my children tried so hard to read in preschool and kindergarten and finally had a teacher in first grade with a different approach and reading clicked and within weeks she was on an end of third grade reading level. 

Prodigals

Rebellion and turning away are bigger heartaches and often take time and prayer along with letting your child know you will always love hm or her and ready to embrace them when they make better choices such as becoming drug free. Yet according to barna.org only 20% of christian parents are instilling faith in their children. They believe the lie that we should let our children discover faith on their own. That makes as little sense as saying let them play with fire to discover the danger of fire. Reading about the prodigal son and modern prodigals who turned back like Franklin Graham bring hope. But, there’s always hop[e and we can continue praying and loving our children no matter what.

Grow a Mother’s Heart with Your Strengths and Weaknesses

We all have talents as well as limitations. Overcome the weaknesses with the support of people who have strengths in those areas and use your strengths.Other times you can take a course or watch some videos to build a skill and overcome a weakness. Be creative. Talents, such as lack of musical ability can be balanced with turning on recordings. Lack of cooking skills might mean a cooking class or cooking videos will bring improvement.

First, do a self-assessment to identify strengths and weaknesses such as how decisive you are, homemaking skills, communication skills, and financial ability. Note what ones you have a spouse or other support to help balance that area out. Consider what ones might mean you need to learn a skill.

Some abilities such as patience of organizing may be more natural for some people while others need a plan and mindfulness to compensate.Understand your personality and style or management to choose how to run your home. If you’re too bossy or critical work on being more considerate and lower your standards for your children’s abilities. 

Know if you are a clam person or easily excitable and learn techniques to be calmer or more forceful as needed. Don’t try to change too much at once, just work on one needed change at a time. Celebrate your skills and talents too and put them ton work to build your family’s life.

Be an Observant Mom

Take time to watch and observe your child alone and interacting with others. Note how they react, what peaks their interest, what helps them persist of makes them give up, how their character traits show, their compassion, and strategies they develop inlaying games and interacting. 

All their behavior, emotions, and actions help your know your child more. Thus, you will better understand their personality, motivations, challenges, and more. With that knowledge you can plan strategies to help them overcome difficulties, embrace talents, and work from their strengths. Your child will feel more understood and accepted. In additionn, you’ll be more equipped to encourage your child and match their interests with opportunities to develop their related skill set.

Build Lasting Bonds 

BY WISDOM A HOUSE IS BUILT, AND BY UNDERSTANDING IT IS ESTABLISHED; AND BY KNOWLEDGE THE ROOMS ARE FILLED
WITH ALL PRECIOUS AND PLEASANT RICHES. PROVERBS 24:3-4

Creating the home environment and a safe place for children takes wisdom and time. Adding activities that build bonds creates a healthy family.

Grow a Mother’s Heart as You Pray Together

Equip children for life by praying as a family and exploring prayer. Keep a family prayer journal to see how God responds to prayer. Do experiments to understand how prayer can be quick (like microwaving a snack) or take time (like baking bread or building a birdhouse). Vary the way you pray. Sometimes it can be reflective, with pauses to listen to God; other times it can be active, like taking a hike and giving thanks as you see wonders and prayer for healing the land as you find damaged areas.

Build Bonds with Hands-on Fun

Interacting with children and doing activities together build bonds. The flops become treasured laughs, and the successes become great memories and inspiration for future success.

Craft fun that connects with Scriptures lets you share your faith while having fun. Paper, scissors, and glue can go a long way in creating cards, toys, games, gifts, and also adding words to express love. Backyard fun, science experiments, and cooking, as well as trips, game nights, and day outings all provide opportunities to spend time together having fun.

Grow a Mother’s Heart through Play and laughter

A study conducted by Concordia University confirms the adage that a family that plays together stays together. Play produces laughter and relaxes people. Children love to play with toys, bubbles, running outdoors, or most anything.  Family playtime fosters good relationships that reduces the chance of children choosing dangerous behavior as teens. Play also lowers stress hormones to help everyone get along. Less stress helps moms too!

Vacations and Excursions

Exploring new areas and getting away provides a change of scenery and pace to build memories. In addition, the change of scenery and pace gives everyone a break, escape from daily stressors, and time for members to reconnect. They also provide opportunities to explore new cultures. Studies show they increase mental focus and happiness while decreasing burnout. Therefore let your mom heart enjoy the time away to also refresh yourself.

Journal Memories

I am among many moms who wished they had recorded more memories. It’s good to create videos, snap photos, and also write about daily happenings and cute phrases children say. Otherwise memories can slip away. Buy a journal to write in and let older children and your spouse record notes too. At the end of devotions ask if there’s a memory to save from the day and write what children share. With this intention, you’ll  collect more memories and be grateful to have them.memories.

Family Meals

Sharing food and fellowship around the table provides daily time together. Children eat healthier when they share meals at home. They also learn to converse, practice manners, and interact daily. With studies showing that due to time on social media parents are spending only thirty-seven minutes a day in quality time with children. Therefore, meals offer a great opportunity to be together, share conversation, discuss the day, and share laughter. Make it fun with telling stories of your family, jokes, and interesting facts. 

Enjoy the Adventure of as you Grow Your Mom’s Heart!

Children give us a new perspective on life as everything is so new to them! Watch and listen to see the world through their senses.  Discover the adventure of life as a mom.

Adventure in love as a child changes your heart. This also helps you understand God’s heart more.
Growing character, compassion, and more as you forgive children, empathize with hurts, and show your authenticity. You have to be your best since little eyes are always watching, and little ears are always listening.
With you children, discover how encouragement can change hearts and egos to make the world a better place. Share kindness to a clerk or public servant and see it light up someone’s day.
As a family you can reach out to serve. Those opportunities expand your love and helps children also learn to think of others.
Curiosity of children leads to questions and discovering answers and that means learning more. Let those little minds led you on a journey of knowledge.
Raising children gives us a new purpose to nurture little hearts and minds. So, that means impacting the next generation and leaving a legacy.

Continue to Grow Your Mother’s Heart

Day by day as you continue to follow Christ and love your children you grow a mother’s heart. May God bless your steps. Make a commitment to reach your goals as a mom. Commit to investing time in your children daily, serving the Lord together, studying God’s word together, and embracing joy daily.