Growing Wholesome Families

As moms, we want peace within our hearts and in our lives. When feeling drained, you’ll want to find life giving ways to fuel your tank with joy, peace, patience, and more. Moms face many similar daily problems:

I’m tired of brokering peace deals and settling petty squabbles of my children.
Will my child follow Jesus always?
How can I get organized?
Is there an end to laundry?

We can all add our own words. We have questions and wonder how to make life

[Mom-care] easier, reduce stress, and thrive. It’s time to fuel your tank, use systems that work to keep the home organized, and more. Aside from all the homemaking and raising kids issues, we also have basic needs of preserving our identity, knowing our purpose, growing as individuals, and as part of a couple if married, to continue strengthening deep relationships. Let’s look at some basic needs and how we can address those in our busy lives. If we can balance needs we will also find peace.

Identity

Once we become someone’s mom we lose a bit of ourselves while we nurture a new life and relationship. We treasure being moms and love our children, but we also long to be our own person. Some days you need to pause and fuel your tank. Reflect on how God created you and has plans for you with simple actions.

A journal can allow you to dream and write about your own interests. Also list your talents and new mom talents. Read Psalm 139 and reflect on how God created you. Read Jeremiah 29:11 and trust that God has plans for you. Part of those plans involve being a mother. Reflect on Ephesians 1:18-19 and Colossians 3:2-3 and realize that God knows you and your true identity that he can reveal to you.

Invest in You! Find time or trade babysitting with another mom. Use the time to list what you really want, soul wise. It’s not about money or accolades as much as your passions and desire to impact lives. You are impacting your children, but slow down to see if you are making the best possible choices for them. Do you let them see your strengths and weaknesses?  Consider ways to engage your children in your dreams for the future so they’ll understand as you work toward goals. [Identity in Christ]

Your friends may expand as you connect with other moms, but hopefully your values remain true, especially your faith values. The Christian life is about how well you live your values and build relationships in daily moments. Our true identity is found ion Christ and what he calls us to do. Write about values, Christ, and the people in your life. Write about choices that use your strengths God gave you. This lets God fuel your tank.

Purpose

We are reflections of Christ and listening for his calling as to ways to fill your tank with meaning. Really, nurturing a child’s character is also part of that purpose. And yes, even making the home a safe and pleasant place is a great role of moms. That doesn’t mean every room needs to look perfect, but that your home needs to be a place where family members can thrive and learn to live in harmony. It helps to be organized as that saves lots of time searching for item. It helps to keep the home clean as that promotes health. But stay balanced too, and enlist the help of everyone. You don’t have to be supermom. We continue to grow as moms. Teaching children to pick up and pitch in helps them mature and grow into confident adults.

THE WISE WOMAN BUILDS HER HOUSE, BUT THE FOOLISH TEARS IT DOWN WITH HER OWN

HANDS.Proverbs 14:1 Read Proverbs 14 to see the contract as a wise woman and a foolish one in regarding the home. Live with purpose even in creating a great home. List what you want most in your home and set goals to reach that.

God’s Purpose

Purpose from God’s perspective is using the talents and following his call. It’s also fine to be career minded as even the Proverbs 31 woman invested in land to make a profit, and sold wares she created. Inventory your skills and talents as well as training you’d like to take to build new skills. Watch for when God opens doors for you to prosper in ways that please God and still lets you be the mom God wants you to be! When you identify talents and skills it’s easier to know where to volunteer time and how you can best fit in a group. That’s exercising purpose. And using those abilities to help in your home, church, and community will fuel your tank with purpose.

Creativity

God created us in his image. The first actions of God were creative ones to make the universe, earth and all that is in it. I always reflect on Ephesians 3:16 where the request of God if to strengthen us with power through his spirit. God’s power is creative. We are not all artist, but creativity is much more than the ability to draw. Creativity is coming up with solutions, developing plans for the home, creating fun, and bringing solutions to conflicts.

God instills all of us with a creative bent. You may be the party planner, social coordinator, artist, natural leader, or organizer. Those are all creative outlets. Whatever problems your mind dwells on whether coming up with a new craft or solving a home repair, it exercises your creativity. Creative endeavors also build self-esteem, help us discover hidden talents, add joy to life, and can also fuel your tank.

As moms we exercise creativity in entertaining our children, planning menus, and solving conflicts. Those are also skills useful in careers and volunteering. Being a mom is really a great testing ground to see what we can master and do well. It’s a place where we can exercise our creative muscles and laugh at mistakes or rejoice at success.

Refueling

When life is tough and things get hard whether it’s challenges with money, home repairs, natural disasters, of struggles in our child’s behavior or learning, it can all be draining until we feel we are getting empty. We need to add joy. love, and relaxation. Close your eyes and take a deep breathe. Work on little ways that also fuel your tank.

Alone time lets your mind and spirit rest and get refreshed.
Doing something you enjoy such as a walk if you like nature, a hobby, or singing. Make a list of activities you enjoy.
Laugh and rejoice. Take time to read jokes or watch a funny movie. Think of three reasons to be grateful and rejoice for those blessings.
Spend time with someone who makes you feel good. This might be a loved one or a friend. Maybe it’s taking a child on a mom-child date, meeting up with friends, or a long call with a loved one that re-energizes you. Make a list of what sprinkles joy into your life and schedule those activities.
Time with God to listen, worship, and be refreshed. This may include confession and forgiveness that cleanses us and thus, refreshes the soul.
Volunteer as giving to others blesses you and helps you refuel.

Peace

Peace comes with being filled with joy, forgiveness, and wholeness. Part of the wholeness is the identity, creativity, and purpose. Those all help us accept ourselves as God made us to bring inner peace. It’s another way to fuel your tank as you are filled with peace that passes understanding. It’s a gift that Jesus gives freely when we ask (Philippians 4:7 and John 14:27). This is inner peace that helps us remain calm in spite of circumstances. We still struggle with peace when something disrupts out life, and we need to hold fast to the peace Christ gives. But, we are always growing, including growing a peaceful heart.

Peace with others happens when we can live in harmony. We cannot control other people although some may try to control you. That’s what Romans 12:18 tells us to live at peace as far as it depends on you. You can do your part to be loving and kind and then have peace that you tried your best. When troubled about others, do an inventory to see if you could be kinder or more gracious. If so, then do it.

Being a peacemaker takes looking out for the needs of others first. It’s listening and looking for solutions that give each person in a conflict hope and meets some of their needs.

Blessings,
Karen